Flying away

Life List: Helicopter Flight. 23 February 2013

For Christmas, my parents gave Mark and I a voucher for a scenic helicopter flight with Helipro. The voucher had 6 months validity, and we debated whether to go before LJ arrived (no need for sitters, but it could be uncomfortable for me) or after. In the end, we went with before, especially when we had a run of really excellent weather that meant we could book nearly a week in advance and still expect sunshine!

Saturday morning rolled around and we dragged ourselves out of bed at a surprisingly ungodly hour for what we were used to, before taking the car into town. There were several events on that weekend, so we parked a bit out of the way in a building rather than try and find an on-street carpark. Walking through to the outer T of Queens Wharf, we stopped to watch the start of a Dragon Boat race as they had a "give it a go" day on, a trial run for the festival a couple of weeks later.

On checking in, we were informed that we had been upgraded from a City Panorama tour to a Harbour Experience tour - we certainly weren't complaining! (It was twice the price and twice the length and we didn't have to pay the upgrade. Very nice)

We put on our life-vests (around our waists. What waist, I hear you ask) and walked out to the chopper with another couple who were on the flight with us. The pilot asked for a volunteer to sit in the front, and after everyone looked at each other for a moment, I volunteered. Its all about the quick and dead around here!

Getting in to the chopper was tough for me with my huge belly and a lifevest in a bag around my waist. I gave Mark my handbag and clambered up on to the chopper platform and heaved myself into the front seat. What a view!

I reached behind me and held Marks hand while we took off. I was so excited, and a bit nervous. We flew over the city, seeing parliament and the university, before heading across the airport (flying over a landing 737), over the top of the ferry towards Wainuiomata, and back up to Petone before following the motorway home. I have photos showing both my parents house and our neighbours (we are tucked in behind it).

The flight was fantastic, pure and simple. No other words are really required. The weather played ball and we could see for miles all around. The city looked stunning. I finally got around to taking the helicopter flight I had missed out on back in high school when I did Air Cadets. It was totally worth the wait.

Baby Finances: May 2013

Total spend: $851.41 (since 12/01/2013)
Spend this month:  $129.25
What it covered: Nappies, spare pacifier, a canvas to do a print with, an imitation moby wrap, general fluff
Breakdown (Overall): Room: $49.01, Me: $274.16, Baby: $374.96, Other: $153.28
Breakdown (Month):  Room $0.00, Me: $6.49, Baby: $62.98, Other: $59.78
Biggest surprise: How tough it is to find cot and portacot sheets, considering we were given both, and they both seem to be unusual sizes! Really odd.
Best Bargain: The awesome moby-style wrap a friend made and sold to us for cost + a little. Haven't used it much, but when I did use it, it was fantastic.
Things we have been gifted: More clothes from Michelle B.
Left on our "Need / Want" list: A travel cot, some shelves for LJs wardrobe and a decent chair for feeding in - our sofa is turning out to cause issues, and the chair we were trying in the nursery is too low for my comfort.


Not so much financial this month, but I wanted to talk about post-baby health & wellbeing. Wowsers its been hard these last 7 weeks. I really did not expect that.

For starters, you still have all this relaxin running through your body. So, doing normal, everyday things can cause issues. Between the birth and the constant getting in and out of chairs while carrying a wriggling 4kg weight, I've done some damage to my hip, so am having to see a physio and my osteopath on a regular basis to get that sorted - its not so fun when you go to roll over and your hip seizes up! I'm not counting these visits as baby costs, just because it would eat into my budget too much!

Then there is the fatigue, which certainly doesn't help with the aches and pains. I knew sleep might be difficult to come by, I didn't expect Mark to ask me at the pool whether I had been wearing mascara when I got in (as the explanation for the big, dark bags under my eyes). I'm tired enough that if LJ re-settles himself after a good cry in the middle of the night, I'll sometimes think I've already been up and fed him when he next cries!

Next is the fact that breastfeeding is actually really quite physically demanding - although that might in part be my physique. I end up aching through my sides, and have a sore lower back from leaning forward to the feed. A visit to the lactation specialist gave me some tips for improving this, and they are helping, but they dont work every time just yet. Breastfeeding also takes a lot of energy - I'm hungry so often and seriously epically. Breakfast is always taken at the first feed to finish after 6am (actually, it was at 5:30 the other morning I was so hungry), as some days its the only substantial meal I get until dinner!

To add to the fun, it looks like I might have post-natal depression, which is not-so-fun. Thankfully, I still have good days, so its not all doom and gloom, but I definitely have days when there is no joy in the world, and there is no joy particularly in being a mum. Thankfully, I have awesomely supportive friends who are rallying around me, which should keep me off medication. You ladies are awesome, and just knowing you are there makes a HUGE difference.

Goals Update: Mid Q2, 2013

Its been a big six weeks since the start of April. Seriously massive. So, how have I been doing with my goals?

QUARTERLY GOALS

1. Achieve 5 things off my "After Baby Goals" list
Done and dusted! In fact, I achieved 8 of the original 25 items - including two weight-loss goals, two involving how long I was free of cankles and swollen feet, managed to cut my toenails, wear normal shoes (not just jandals!) and went for a walk. Epic achievements!

2. Cook 3 new recipes
Not yet. At all. I'm still struggling to find the motivation to cook everyday meals, let alone try something new!

3. Keep up with the Photo Challenges
Falling a bit behind with the weekly photo, and still haven't started the 113 challenge, but I'm just not shooting enough to keep up.

4. Clean out the nursery wardrobe
Well, I pulled out my two boxes of stored clothes, and one of them is empty with the clothes going back into my actual wardrobe. Next is to sort the other boxes, before putting stuff that LJ doesn't fit back into the plastic boxes in preparation to pass them on to someone else. I've wound up spending a LOT of time on my loose-leaf recipes in the last 6 weeks instead, as they dont involve being in the nursery when LJ is asleep (the only times I'm not physically with him)

5. Get out of the house
A slow start, but managing at least twice a week either with or without the baby.

ANNUAL GOALS

1. Keep Active
Still in progress. My fitness has fallen off dramatically though, so this might be hard work through the depths of winter.

2. Go on a tramping club trip at least once every schedule.
Summer: Done
Winter: Planned, I'm co-leading a trip in August, and Mark is keen on a couple of the daywalks.

3. Do one more renovation step
Perhaps

4. De-clutter
Working on it. A constant battle when there is a baby in the house!

5. Achieve 5 things from my life list
Previous: Renovate / Redecorate a bedroom, Fly in a helicopter
Added: Have a baby.

6. Tidy up the blog
Done (except I need to update the 100 things list again!)

Life, but not as we knew it

On the weekend, I survived my first "Mothers Day". I wasn't expecting much, just hoping to get a nice photo of LJ and I, and do his hand and foot-prints (finally).
Two things to achieve in a day. Success rate? Zero. Oops.

Instead it was more of the never-ending round of laundry and cleaning up after LJ spilled all over himself. Good thing the boy has lots of clothes (probably more than Mark and I combined), because we are still running low even when we wash every other day.

Today we are six weeks in, and its time for vaccinations and check-ups. Should be an entertaining afternoon! We had our first Plunket nurse visit yesterday, and she seemed lovely, but not a patch on our awesome, wonderful midwife, who I already miss. LJ has gained an excellent amount of weight, which is great considering how much of each meal he seems to regurgitate.

I'm hoping this afternoon, the GP will give me the all clear to head to the pool for a swim. For an activity I went a long time not doing at all, now that I've not been able to do it, I've missed it intensely! A swim and a soak in the spa is exactly what I need right now.

Tomorrow I'm going out for more than 10 minutes without LJ for only the second time. Jo won tickets to a movie, and even though its one I've only vaguely heard of (I think it went to Sundance?), I've jumped at the opportunity to have a couple of hours away from the house. I need to feel human again, ASAP!

I guess life will never return to "normal", and at the moment, we still haven't settled into the "new normal" yet, things still feel very up in the air and changeable. I'm looking forward to LJ revealing his routine and having decent sleeps so I can feel confident about getting things like physio appointments booked at times he wont be screaming. I'm hoping to become more confident about taking him out of the house so I can get out more too. I'm waiting for him to really get communicating (it has started, a bit), to help connect more and get positive reinforcement.

One day, I'll have the energy to edit up some more photos, and to take photos that aren't camera snaps of LJ (although I do enjoy scrolling back through those photos because he is darned cute!). One day, life will feel normal again. I hope.

20 Questions: April

1. The next thing I want to achieve on my life list is: Going to have to go with food-focussed ones: either a cake decorating course or making pasta at home.

2. What did I achieve from my life list this month? I had a baby! Pretty epic, really.

3. Congratulations to: Gina & Pete on their awesome announcements, Mark and I for surviving a month of parenthood.

4. This month I am thankful for: Sleep, whenever I can get it. Mark, when he is at home.

5. The big countdown is for: Christmas? I guess? 

6. In the news drama of the month: The Boston Marathon Bombs. I dont think I need to say anything else at the moment.

7. Something I will remember from this month is: The pain. The terror. The fatigue. The tears. The joy.

8. Whats happening with the quarterly goals: 5 things off the after-baby-arrives list already completed, and the nursery wardrobe cleanout started with going through my stored clothes to find what fits again already. Of course, those clothes are now all hanging out in the bedroom, waiting for me to sort my drawers and wardrobe so they can go away...

9. Whats happening with the annual goals: I'm down to co-lead a trip at the end of this schedule, plus will aim to do one of the buggy walks with the families group before then, so thats the tramping sorted. Main aim at the moment though is to start getting active again!

10. What have I read this month?: About 100 pages of a book I have read half a dozen times before.

11. Something I have learnt this month?: I really am my own harshest critic. Well, I did already know that, but I've been shown it over and over again. Also, sometimes, I get cranky when I'm tired (another thing no-one will be surprised about!).

12. What has been the biggest challenge? Not taking the cranky out on Mark or LJ. Its not either of their faults when things dont quite go right - LJ in particular cant help it, and getting frustrated when things arent working is not going to help.

13. Some things I have bookmarked: Just one new blog: Solo Date City. Very entertaining look at dining out in Wellington alone.

14. Some things I have shared on Facebook: I forgive myself for completely dropping off the radar this month. Back to it next month! However, this awesome speech from the parliamentary debate over the legalisation of gay marriage was awesome and had to be shared, plus someone taking off both Downton Abbey and One Direction, and a very cool way to celebrate Poppy Day here in Wellington

15. If I could go back and give myself one piece of advice for the month, it would be: Expect the unexpected. Be prepared for disappointment.

16. What do I really want to buy?: A full-time nanny. Some new clothes.

17. What have been the big social events of the month? Visitors from Christchurch, people dropping in to meet LJ. Social is not on our radar for our first 6-8 weeks or so.

18. What events are coming up next month? Jareds birthday.

19. What is new on my Kindle Wish List? Again, nothing. I cant really justify shopping at the moment!

20. Favourite photo of the month:
I dont think I have taken many photos this month that aren't of LJ, but since we are largely keeping him off-net (that includes photos on facebook being exceedingly rare), I dont have a lot to share... So for the moment, here is one from this time last year... Salmon, bacon & spinach eggs benedict

My 2cents of pregnancy advice

Bearing in mind I have only done this once, and aim never to do it again, feel free to read and forget any and all of this!
If I could tell my newly pregnant friends some positive advice, it would be as follows:

*Be as active as possible for as long as possible.
Dont use your pregnancy as an excuse to stop exercising until you have to stop. I never really thought of myself as an "active" or "fit" person, but now that I've experienced being effectively crippled by my pregnancy, I realise just how much exercise I did use to do, and how much I miss it. Same goes for travelling - if you enjoy it, do it, for as long as you can.

*Treat yourself to new clothes
Budget in an allowance to buy maternity clothes. Buy yourself something new specifically for the pregnancy once a month, or every six weeks. It doesn't have to be from the expensive shops. I wish I had bought more clothes during the pregnancy, but I kept berating myself with "I cant justify buying something I will only wear for another 3 months" and then, when I was at the end of the pregnancy and feeling huge, I had almost no clothes that fit anymore, just when I needed the pickup of a pretty top the most.

*Allow yourself to not achieve
Some days, you really wont want to get out of bed. Dont feel bad about this when it happens. Some days, you will suddenly realise its 11am and you haven't brushed your teeth, showered or dressed. C'est la vie. Perhaps tomorrow you will do better.

*Accept any compliments
You may feel like a beached whale, or have had nausea constantly for weeks when a friend tells you you are looking really good. Try and accept it in as good grace as you can manage.

*Sleep how you want
If you normally sleep on your back or front, seriously keep sleeping that way for as long as you can comfortably manage it. Your body will tell you when its no longer a suitable option for sleep. One day you will be lying in bed and realise its been weeks since you could sleep in whatever position you wanted to, and now you are too big to sleep any way but on your side. So definitely take the opportunity presented to you. And dont worry about the left hand / right hand side thing. Again, use whichever is more comfortable.

*Beating yourself up
There are so many things to beat yourself up over - weight gain or lack of, how you are sleeping and how much you are sleeping, how much exercise you are getting vs how much you should. This is the hardest bit of advice to follow, but try not to beat yourself up too much. Lots of things are out of your control, and lots of them influence the things that ARE under your control.

*Comparing apples with apples
Your pregnancy may be nothing like any of your friends pregnancies - either currently ongoing, or previous. Good friends will recognise this and not try to downplay your issues. Also, you will have times when you will roll your eyes at things friends say or do (mostly the ones without kids, but not always), and then realise you may have said or done the same or similar yourself to previously pregnant friends. Use this to help strengthen your resolve to never repeat that mistake!

*Ignore poor-fitting advice
Yes, that includes everything I have said above. If the advice makes you feel bad about yourself, ignore it. If it really doesn't suit your lifestyle? Ignore it. The only exception of course is considered advice from your chosen health professional.

Baby Finances: April 2013

Its been a rough month, and had a fair bit of expenditure to go with it...

Total spend: $722.16 (since 12/01/2013)
Spend this month:  $275.44
What it covered: A second-hand breast pump, formula, nipple shields, more merino clothing.
Breakdown (Overall): Room: $91.00, Me: $267.67, Baby: $311.98, Other: $93.50
Breakdown (Month):  Room $0.00, Me: $129.79, Baby: $99.15, Other: $46.50
Biggest surprise: Breastfeeding. Sigh. With me having issues, its turned out to be expensive - we had to top up with formula when we came home from hospital, and have had to buy a second-hand pump as well. Hopefully that will reduce over the next couple of weeks as things improve. They are already much better.
Best Bargain: The merino clothing we bought - 30% off, plus a $10 special voucher :) Awesome.
Things we have been gifted: Marions offered safe-t-sleep has arrived (thanks!), and with LJs arrival, we have received half a dozen cute outfits, books and home knitting. Thanks everyone.
Left on our "Need / Want" list: A moby wrap has been added to the list, as LJ has wind issues, and being upright seems to be the only way to settle him a lot of the time - a pain when Mark is back at work! We also need to get a mattress for the portacot, and want to look into a travelcot for taking away places with us.

So, this month I dont have a lot of energy to talk about things that cost loads. But can I just say how surprised I have been at how expensive breastfeeding has been for us? The extra pills, shields, breast pads, lanolin cream, wind drops, a pump. I am only perservering because its that bit faster to calm the baby than bottle feeding formula. Which we have had to do due to various issues (my milk ran late coming in, which caused a lot of upset for LJ).

But, I am so thankful to the wonderful midwives at Kenepuru Hospital, who managed to turn around what was looking to be a very upsetting homecoming with a grizzly baby into an extra 24 hours stay that helped sort things out to a level we could cope with. They reassured me that feeding LJ formula because he was starving and I had no milk yet was not failure, as much as I felt it was (and I have always been a woman who believed in each to their own with feeding, so I was surprised at how bad I felt having to take that myself). They took him off my hands for a couple of hours so I could cry and sleep without upsetting him, and sent me for a walk outside - my first in 4 days - to help settle my mind a bit.

And I am grateful to Mark for putting up with all this drama in his usual calm and collected fashion, which has made it all easier to deal with. Knowing he has my back is wonderful.